There was something about Arienne.
Patrick McGowan immediately knew the blue-eyed, loud-mouthed 19-year-old, who was just as obnoxious as he, would be his wife.
There was something about Patrick.
Arienne Thomas immediately became obsessed with the piercing blue eyes of the 24 year old who wore his camouflaged pants in just the right way.
Falling in love was so easy.
Then came marriage (April 5, 2006). Then came baby (Kaleb McGowan born Oct. 3, 2006.) Then came the work (all day, every day).
"It's very hard," says Arienne, now 21. "It's a work in progress. It's constant work. A boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is never this hard. It's a full-time job."
"It's trying," adds Patrick, now 26.
Patrick and Arienne McGowan are a bit of an anomaly among their peers. Statistics show most 20-somethings aren't thinking about exchanging 'I-dos,' but for those who have, does age interfere with the success of their marriages?
The McGowans think it might.
Sometimes the couple wishes they had waited - for wisdom, for maturity, for more time together.
"I still think about it. Is it the right thing I did for me, for our family?" Arienne wonders. "Would we be married if we didn't have Kaleb? Maybe now - if we had gotten to know each other more."
Census data shows marrying young may be a dying trend, but for the young couples who are taking the plunge, keeping that marriage alive often requires a little more effort, say relationship experts. "It's great to be in love, but it does make a big difference the younger you are," says licensed clinical social worker Lynn Tomaino.
Lack of experience and developmental immaturity are factors that contribute to the challenge of making a young marriage work, she added.
"Sometimes people don't realize they have to live a different way (when they're married)," Tomaino says. "They think it will be fun to live together and wake up together and do the things they thing married people do. But you have to be willing to accommodate each other and compromise, and that's not always easy."
'Faith gets you through it' It's not easy, say Frank and Mary Ann Volvo.
They should know.
Married at 22 and 18 respectively, the Rome couple celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary July 12.
Sixty years of marriage hasn't come without its ups and downs, the couple admits, but there has been one thing this couple says has kept their foundation solid.
"Faith, spiritual faith and faith in each other," says Mary Ann with confidence. "When things get rough - and they do - you have something to fall back on."
Her husband nods, smiling from the chair next to his wife's.
"You have to believe, and never go to bed angry," he adds.
"And understanding not everything has to do with you," Mary Ann says.
"Nope, you can't be selfish," Frank says.
The couple's years of love and commitment seem to have made an impact. Their daughter, Barbara Ingersoll, has been married for 31 years. She and her husband married at 24 and 25, respectively. She learned to cope with marriage difficulties the same way her parents did.
"Faith gets you through it," she says. "It goes back to pretty much the same thing - integrity, values."
"Age doesn't matter - it's not an issue," adds Mary Ann. "If he treats you right, you treat him right. If you don't have that basic respect and love, you can't grow. If he doesn't feel good, I don't feel good."
"Sympathy pains," says Frank laughing.
'You do everything you can' For Christina Utter-Wright marrying her high school sweetheart at age 19 because she had a baby on the way seemed like the right thing to do, but poor communication doomed the relationship from the start.
"I saw it as 'It can't be that hard,'" says Utter-Wright, now 29. "But it became apparent to us that we didn't want to be married."
But age, she believes, wasn't what led the couple to that end.
"I don't think it matters what age you get married at as long as the two people know they want to go the same places," she says. "We were just two people who weren't going the same places."
Ultimately, says Tomaino, it doesn't matter how much a couple loves each other or how much time they spend fighting, there are two things a couple must have to be successful.
"Respect and admiration," she says. Those things can be built and should be in order to save a marriage, she adds.
"I think when you make a commitment to be married you do everything you can do before you to ditch the marriage," she advises.
Meanwhile, the McGowans say they'll do whatever it takes to make their new relationship work.
"I'm happy with our relationship, but I hope in the next five years we're able to understand each other a lot better," Patrick says, consoling a sleepy Kaleb.
"I'm still growing as a person, and he's growing as a person," says Arienne. "We try every day to grow together. We want to grow together, and we love each other so much we're willing to do that."
